


I remember this

by melonbutterfly



Series: Stranger Things Have Happened [5]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Fights, M/M, References to Past Drug Abuse, Substance Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-25
Updated: 2012-11-25
Packaged: 2017-11-19 11:10:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/572626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melonbutterfly/pseuds/melonbutterfly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things aren't easy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I remember this

**Author's Note:**

> Set shortly after the first story, before Tony has completed his replacement arc reactor.

Things aren't easy. They aren't smooth. It's been two years since they were together, and they've never had a particularly healthy relationship. Loki gets angry when Tony drinks – all their worst fight had happened while intoxicated somehow, all the worst things they did to each other were spawned when they were not in their right minds, so Tony can understand, but unlike Loki, he didn't make use of those two years to go completely cold turkey. Loki doesn't drink anymore, doesn't smoke, doesn't use, though they haven't done drugs in over five years so at least the latter isn't a surprise. He's not sanctimonious about it, doesn't comment when Tony fills a tumbler with two fingers of scotch, but his mouth tightens by the third refill, and by the fifth they're fighting.

"What the fuck do you care," Tony yells eventually, and he would have continued to say something along the lines of "it's not like you gave a fuck about me over the past two years," but Loki interrupts him, which is a very good thing because that would have been one of the stupidest things he could have said.

"Because I love you, you asshole," Loki yells back. When Tony falls silent, wide-eyed and shocked, he glares. "Don't act like it's a surprise."

It's not, not really; they certainly have said it before. But only during the happy phases of their relationship – they've been at the height of happiness together, romantic and kitschy and really ridiculous, a perfect opposite to when they were at rock bottom, oil and water, bitter and furious. And never shall the twain meet: they have never said it to each other when they weren't happy. They really should have, Tony can't help but think now.

"Tony," Loki says quietly, cupping Tony's face with both hands, thumbs rubbing over his cheeks. "I'm not trying to control you. I'm okay with you drinking for recreation, but not… not the unhealthy way, the way we did before."

"I just…" Tony lowers his gaze, puts his hands on Loki's waist. He can't put it to words; he's fraying at the seams, feels like he's falling apart. He should be happy, he got out, he's got Loki back, but everything but Loki is wrong, like badly fitting puzzle pieces. Yinsen is dead, everybody's treating him with kid gloves like he's fragile, damaged, insane because he shut the weapons manufactory down, Obie is looking at him weirdly and Pepper acts distant.

"I love you," Loki says again, kissing Tony's eyelids. "I want to be here for you and I know I can't really help you, but please, let me do at least what I can."

"I love you," Tony replies, keeping his eyes closed as his fingers curl in the soft cloth of Loki's shirt. "I'll try."

Loki nods, kissing Tony on the lips this time. "Tell me what you're doing in the lab."

Grateful for the reprieve, Tony starts talking about the new arc reactor he's building.


End file.
